I've always had a difficult time with patience. Just ask my mother. She's always reminding me to have patience. She's been reminding me since the day I was born. On a daily basis. (I obviously have a patient mother. If I had a kid like me I'd be shooting myself).
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| I know I've already used this picture, but it's the best one I've got with my mom so I guess it's picture time with Mommy! |
I don't really know what my problem is. I just get really excited for things. Even stupid little things like getting my hair done in under 5 minutes so I can move to the next thing. Which, in that case isn't really a big deal. But I have no patience when it comes to the big things in life either. I'm always "wishing my life away." If I'm at school I can't wait for the semester to be over. If I'm home I can't wait to be back at school. And at the same time I wish I was graduated and didn't have to be at school and could just do the rest of my life. Next thing you know I could be 62 and wishing for my death bed. Basically, I have a problem. I keep telling myself that I will be happy when this happens or when that happens. Whatever this or that may be. But believe it or not, it's not true. When it happens I'm still not happy. I'm just wishing for the next thing to happen so I can wish for the next one and the next one. Well, ok, I won't be completely unhappy when they happen. I mean, I'm always happy when my birthday comes around and I wish for that 364 days of the year except on leap year when I'm wishing 365 days.
I am all for instant gratification. The problem: nobody learns anything from instant gratification. Which is probably why I have to work so hard to get myself through school. I wouldn't learn anything if my education was handed to me. (When it comes to school, my patience is awful. If I were to sit down and just do it instead of impatiently dreading it, I could get my homework done in no time at all. But instead I sit around wishing death upon myself and take forever to do it).
This non-vacation I am taking for school, I am trying to use to my advantage. At the end of these 9 months we will see how I did. I am trying to teach myself patience. And I am reminding myself that I am happy with what I have right now. Which makes me sound like a Pollyanna, but really, how else is one to endure this suffering? Just think, if I wasn't home for the time that I'm home there are so many things I wouldn't get to do. Like play in the mud with my siblings. Or explore the great outdoors. Or get to know my new sister-in-law. Or even get the great opportunity to work at Pilot Travel Centers. (GAG ME). There is so much that I would miss out on if I had gone somewhere else. And while I am in the act of doing these things I am happy. And my family loves it when I'm home. Especially my nieces and nephews that say I "have to stay here. Never leave!"
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| Check them pearly whites! |
Someday all my dreams will come true, and when they do, it will be great. But for now, I just need to have patience and appreciate what I have now.
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